Breaking a part

I feel like writing whenever I feel frustrated.
Today, I'm realized I'm being tested by Almighty. All the things I heard, makes me feel heartbroken.

Only Allah knows that feeling.

Family being apart because of outsiders.

Yes, I feel frustration and everything. But, I also know Allah has His own plan.

I don't have to hold grudge. Because kifarah does exist. But, deep in my heart, when you feel really frustrated, you'll start to let them go. I mean. LET THEM GO.

Don't expect me to come back. I've forgiven once. I'll forgive again. But no. I will not forget. Even a minute.

I have my lesson learnt on how people look at you. How people treating you. Life is not a straight journey. You may no need them now, but you'll never know what will happen to you in the future. I always put them as my top priority, but only to find out that I'm only an option.

I cried every night. At least I know Allah is listening. He never brings me down. and I never give up on Him. I have lots of sin. But Allah is always there by my side. Ya Allah, please forgive me, my husband and kids. Amin.